Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?
Matthew 16:24-26
My youngest son likes to follow me, especially when we go somewhere new. He’s very shy at first and hangs around my legs. When I move somewhere, he quickly follows after instead of going and playing with the other kids.
We all have someone we follow. Kids follow their parents, teens follow their idols, young adults follow their senior coworkers. So who do you follow?
The theme for this year is follow me. The idea came to me as I was going quahog-ing this summer. There was a dad and his son involved and the son was wondering when they were going fishing. The dad told him that after the event they would go, and then proceeded to ask the son where he wanted to go fishing. I was a bit shocked by this question. Now, the question itself isn’t a bad question. But it led me down a deep rabbit hole of thought. Why did the dad ask this question instead of just telling him where they would go fishing?
It’s a cultural problem
This culture seems to be bent on doing what the kids want all the time. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? What do you want for dinner? What do you want for Christmas? Again, by themselves, these are not bad questions. But when we rely on them too much, then who is following who?
Kids need to learn how to follow their dads. They need ample time to watch how the dad behaves, makes decisions, and reacts to situations. We need dads to confidently say, “We are going fishing here and at this time and we are bringing this tackle and we are using this pole.” There is a time and a place to let kids make some decisions, but most of the time we, as dads, need to be making decisions and letting our kids follow us.
Who do you follow?
Matthew 16: 24-26 says that if we are to be followers of Jesus, we are to do three things:
- Deny ourself
- Pick up our cross
- Follow Jesus
First, Jesus knows that we all follow someone. We follow the world, our idols, our heroes, etc. He knew this, and he says deny yourself. Stop following who you are currently following. Now, I don’t mean this in a literal sense, but rather in a first-commandment-sense. The Westminster Larger Catechism question 104 says,
104 What are the duties required in the first commandment?
The duties required in the first commandment are, the knowing and acknowledging of God to be the only true God, and our God; and to worship and glorify Him accordingly, by thinking, meditating, remembering, highly esteeming, honoring, adoring, choosing, loving, desiring, fearing of Him; believing Him; trusting, hoping, delighting, rejoicing in Him; being zealous for Him; calling upon Him; giving all praise and thanks, and yielding all obedience and submission to Him with the whole man; being careful in all things to please Him, and sorrowful when in anything He is offended; and walking humbly with Him. (emphasis added)
We stop following who we are following in a zealous and submissive way. There will always be people we should follow in a literal sense (i.e. pastors, elders, Christian leaders). There are Godly men in my life that I admire and follow. But who we give our submissive attention to and zealous passion for should stop.
Second, pick up our cross. Jesus knew he was going to his death. When we repent, we recognize that we need to die spiritually. We carry our own crosses to the hill so that we can put to death our old sinful ways. In this verse, Jesus says, “…but whoever loses his life for my sake will find [his life]”. One of the ways I demonstrate this to my own kids is by showing them my own weaknesses.
Lastly, follow me. We can now turn our passion, zealousness, obedience, and submission to King Jesus to follow him in a way that we couldn’t before. In verse 26, Jesus is saying that it is better to follow Him and have this new life (even in carrying our cross) than to follow the world and to have everything the world has to offer. This is what we need to be teaching our kids—that following Jesus is more important than anything else in this whole world.
Teaching your kids to follow
Do you teach your kids to go to God in prayer first when there’s a problem? When they have a big decision to make, do you let them make it themselves with sound advice from scripture? Do you lead family worship and explicitly teach them how to worship God?
So, let’s teach our kids how to follow. The next time you take them fishing or do an activity with them, make a decision and let them follow. Teach them how to follow, and pray for their souls, that they would learn to follow Jesus the same way that they learned to follow you.
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